Names and Stereotypes

So there are so many stereotypes that you hear when you think of Africa and the funny thing about it is that Africa is spoken about as if it is one country. The amusing thing is that you never think about the things you will hear about America or what foreigners believe about America.
Africa is known to be very under-developed and although South Africa is developed a lot, it is not as efficient as I am use to and also not a good depiction of the rest of the continent. There are trained cheetahs here that visitors can pest for around 15 USD. The cars are on the opposite side of the road and I live in the suburbs of the city of Cape Town so, poverty is definitely not seen on a daily basis. I do know that poverty exists because I have been to townships and I have learned about the separations that apartheid has created. Although Apartheid is over legally, the legacy still has an affect on the way South Africa looks today.

Interesting conversation I had
V:what is your real black name? I
M: I don’t understand what you are asking. My name is Erica
V: You don’t have a shaniwa or rabonshine?
M: my name is Erica black or not.
**This was definitely not the first time I have had to deal with the name thing. I was told that African Americans have the craziest names and I was definitely asked that (what’s your African American name) again. I also was told to believe that names as such were African so, we were in a debate about it because my RA said that he has never met and that I will never meet a African girl with a WA Nay or something of that sort on the end of her name. I volunteer at this place CAFDA, shadowing social workers, and a colored girl walks in and her name is Kabanisha and I busted out laughing. It was rude and so funny at the same time that I had to write to my RA and tell him. He writes me back any say colored girls are different from blacks….always something ey? lol **

V: oh, so you live in the projects?
M: No, I don’t
V: Are you sure? All the black girls live in the projects right?
M: No, that is like me saying all the black people live in townships

This was very shocking to me because he is someone who is very educated when it comes to things going on in the world. I was taken back to hear these words come out of his mouth. He tells me that the boondocks is a good depiction of black life in America right? I said no and I had to laugh because so many people here have asked me if it is a good depiction of black America and from my opinion, black America is nothing like the boondocks. Just because we think that people in Africa don’t wear clothes and are very poor based on the things we see on TV, we have to remember that the Africans watch TV as well so, the stereotypes we go off of are very similar to those that they see about us and go off of what TV depicts as well.

Stay Royal :-)

Losing Yourself in Labels

So coming up with titles are always an issue when writing blog entries. I was in my social and economic development class and we were discussing battered women and the concept of losing yourself in labels came to mine. I personally have always felt that I live my life through labels and following the shadows of my Mom and my brother. They have set the standards very high for me and because their standards are so high, I am labeled through them: “Little Sandy” or “Little Rah.” Interesting the way life works because I am so different from the both of them, yet this label encourages me to be all that I can be. But thinking back to this label thing, I have always had an issue with describing myself without using a label or even understanding what constitutes into a label.

Label: Brand, Sticker, Marker, Tag

This is a very interesting definition especially when I think of the labels I have been tagged with and the stereotypes that come along with this label as well as how my life is predicted based on these stereotypes and tags and the struggles I have to face to get through them.
• Being a black woman in America

• I go to an all-white private school in upstate New York where even in the 21st century, I have to deal with ignorant races remarks

• I find myself stuck in the position of having to explain my race more than I planned to

• I have to deal with the issues of being judged on getting in my school through affirmative action rather than me being there because I earned it through busting my ass in school

• I have to deal with the fact that an educated black woman is a very intimidating force to be reckoned with

• On top of that, The more education I acquire can actually ruin my income: Studies show the higher a woman of color education goes, the more here income decrease---Race and Ethnicity Class (Ithaca College)

• I have to deal with being pre-judged to be aggressive and independent or Dependent and a Push Over—very little room to maneuver

• I am labeled to be a teenage mom or caught in the circumstances of being sexually aggressive

• We are stereotyped to all come from an urban neighborhood and to be labeled as “HOOD”

• Black Women have the highest rates of HIV

• Black women are included in the people of color women to be single parents or raised in single-parent homes

• Being from New York City

• New Yorkers are labeled to be rude and very to themselves

-I find this funny when everyone I met, I have introduced myself to

• Stuck up and always in a rush

• There are no trees and we don't care about the earth
  

-One of the ignorant things I was told at Ithaca

• All the boroughs are just one place

• Urban children from NYC have never been anywhere or done things outside of being in the city

So all of these things are markers that I have been labeled to, but I don’t fit into them so, what do I label myself as? I am still proud to be a black woman making progress in America when although not exclusively racist through law, the systems are still under racist rule. I am definitely proud to be a New York because I love Harlem and the person it has made me become.

But the crazy thing when it comes to descriptions, it is a hassle to try and describe yourself without having a labels. Labels are what make you who you are right? WRONG, no one sits down to examine exactly who they are and what makes them who they are. In some places you are characterized by your society So, In South Africa; since apartheid just ended in 1994, there are many issues with race and labels. There are six race categories here: Black, White, Colored, Asian, Indian, and Other. When you have been characterized in this group, you are racially profiled. There are many stigmas that come along with the categories and of the people that are forced to grow in these boxes.

There are colored traditions that are not shared in the black or the white community. Indians and Colored have an upper hand in comparison to the whites and the Asians, but the blacks and the colors are on the same level when it comes to economic status. Yes, this is Africa and to be ideal would be for there to be African Kings and Queens and the continent full of the inspiring blacks, but that is NOT reality. Many people allow labels to cover their life so much that they forget who they were before those labels. It is interesting here because Colored has been used as a derogatory term just as it has in the United States but the people who are categorized as that race consider the term as part of their identity and to take it away would mean that they are missing something.

In Class, Labels came up with the discussion of battered women and them not having any idea as to what to do once out of the abusive relationship. These women have been wives and mothers for so long and abused, that they forget who they are as women. They are unaware of How to treat themselves or care for themselves because they have been neglecting themselves for so long. It is crazy how involved in your life you become that when you begin to become a care-taker you forget the most important person to take care of is yourself.
Even if you find yourself caught up in labels, don’t let it overwhelm you to the point where you forget who you are. Be you and help others. I find the best thing for me to do with labels is to embrace them so, I am able to change the negative stereotypes into positive ones.

Stay Royal :-)

South African Guys

So, the other day, my friend Viwe asked me “What do you think about South African Boys” Here it is:

Every time I travel, whether it be in the U.S. or going outside of the U.S., I like to do comparisons so this was a very interesting topic for me to blog about. Anyway so, South African men have been very appealing to me. I can only speak on behalf of my experience and generalize for a moment what I have seen. I have also only been exposed to University males and males around the program so, my view on South African guys are very limited

1. Men here are very intelligent

a. Most of the guys that I have come across are triple majors and in Masters programs (2^nd masters degree)

b. Men here are very cultural, I have met a lot of men who are deeply involved with their cultural practices and although

2. Men here are very aggressive

a. Men are very blunt here, nothing is sugar-coated or censored, it is usually said exactly how it crosses the mind

i. Not meant to hurt you, just uncensored with a smile

b. Men like to be upfront and touch you to get your attention

i. I hate this, don’t have to touch me to speak to me

1. Makes you look very desperate…smh

3. Hygiene

a. Just like everywhere in the world, you have those that have bad hygiene and those that have good

i. I have found that those with good hygiene have beautiful scents that just flow in the wind

ii. The cologne or soap or deodorant smells amazing.

4. Dress Very Well

a. The guys here are always dressed up, I have yet to see a guy dressed down here

i. Button ups jeans and shoes

ii. Even if they where tackies (sneakers) they can still dress up an outfit

5. Comfortable with sexuality

a. Guys here bend over tables just like a girl would and I must say, I have never seen a straight guy

b. Guys here will say another guy is attractive and I will think nothing of it---Where at home the question of homosexuality comes up

6. Brotherly

a. There is a strong bond between the men here

i. Even if they are from different neighborhoods or cultural tribes, they can connect like brothers

7. Very demanding

a. Still have the mentality that women are beneath them

These are just some things that I have noticed about the African Men here. I think they are very interesting and I admire the whole dressing up aspect as well as the comfortability with sexuality. I can honor that because I have never seen anything like that in my life and I respect it because it is okay for females to do it and men here. The society is just as sexist as U.S., but the sexism dynamics are interesting none the least.

Thats all for now

Stay Royal :-)

Too Blessed to Be Stressed

So, Last week and this week has been hectic, I have had 2-4 emotional breakdowns. I have never been so stressed about school in my life! This is such a crazy experience for me because to talk to people is just for them to say it’s okay. It is not okay and because I don’t express my emotions as much, everything that is built up comes out in abundance. I was crying class and trying to focus on what the lecturer was saying, but it wasn’t happening!! I couldn’t sit in class, I forgot that I had my once a week class so, I didn’t show up for that, it was all just a big hot mess. I have staff here that I can go to for support, but for someone to tell me that I am brave for taking a third year level course and that everything is going to be okay, doesn’t help my situation. I am the type of person that just likes to vent and cry and then get over it and I am unable to do that here. That is so stressful, when I am in situations like this, the best people to call are my mother and my boyfriend. The problem with this is that I am six hours ahead so, my boyfriend is sleeping and I can’t interrupt because he is in school as well, and my mom is telling me spiritual sayings. I love god and I know that he will take care of me, but to tell me “I’m too blessed to be stressed” is definitely not going to de-stress me. I have to sit down and think, I am too blessed to be stressed, but I am not convincing myself that it will be okay!

Sometimes, I don’t understand my blessings and most things, I feel I have to sit back and think! I am blessed to be able to study abroad and get scholarships to do it. I am blessed to be independent to the point where I don’t need any money from my parents while I am here. I arranged everything to get here by myself (no help from my parents) and I am here. I am pulling off all Bs and As in my classes thus far when students here even say that As are not common. I know you look at all of this and say why am I stressed then? Let’s think about it:?

1. I am a senior and I need a good GPA to get into the schools I want to go to (Columbia, NYU).

a. Focusing on the GPA, these grades count into my GPA so, the grades matter

i. Although grades can never show work ethic, I need something to be shown, that is higher than a B

ii. Exams here are 50% of the grades and I must say tests are not my strong points

iii. My teacher is rude to tell me I am not focusing on the content, but the grades when I don’t understand how the content doesn’t have an effect on the grade.

2. I am applying for graduate school programs while I am here

a. I have to focus on my undergraduate study assignments as well as graduate school

i. I have to write personal statement in between my million papers

ii. I have to edit my resume when the people I contact at home don’t even respond

iii. I have to harass people from a distance who can instantly ignore me by deleting an email-MY FUTURE DEPENDS ON THEM

1. I HATE DEPENDING ON PEOPLE

Anyways, the director of my program, who has been my support here told me that I will be laughing about this soon so, I am praying that this day comes fast because all I can do know is cry and get mad at myself for doing that.

That’s all for now

Stay Royal :-)

Diary of a Fat Girl III

My boyfriend and my mom are my two best friends so, I call and contact them for just about everything that I do in my life. So, my program took us to Nelspruit, Kruger National Park, and SOWETO for a week or so. I have been doing this Raw diet for approximately 3weeks and I have been considering adding All-Brand to get everything working properly. So, we leave at 6am in the morning to catch our flight to Johannesburg and when I say TEMPTATION!!! Oh gosh! We get to the airport around 6:30am and the program has paid for breakfast at Spurs. Breakfast is Sunnyside up eggs with Ham and we will not be eating again until 12pm. Oh god please forgive me to forgive myself. I ate this food and when I tell you I was in heaven, I was floating! This was such a beautiful feeling and I was just excited that I had the chance and was able to eat at Spurs (Very popular restaurant in South Africa). I know many of you are thinking oh, this is not that bad, but all of the above defied the Raw diet and because it was sent by a preacher, I always feel even worst. I am not as religious as many of my peers, but I am a woman that fears god.

So We get off the two and the half hour flight and then we have a 4.5 hour ride to Nelspruit and what’s for lunch? Chicken sandwich with butter? What the hell? A cereal bar and an apple, this is just great! But then again, I have to sit and think-some people don’t have any food at all and here I am being picky. What a shame! Anyways so all this vacation, I feasted and ironically all the outcomes that I was suppose to get from the RAW diet started happening. This was the best and the worst week since I have been here, I had some really AMAZING foods: Beef stew, Steak, Pop, Corn on the Carb, Fish, Salads were Amazing, Chicken, Squash, no desserts besides the marvel cake, but it was AMAZING. I felt as if I had an early Thanksgiving without any of the foods being processed.

The food here tastes delicious! Nothing is processed so it is the best meat I have ever tasted. There is a downfall of course; I am unable to save anything for a longtime because everything goes bad within that first week. It is not wise to buy big bundles of food, but rather go shopping once a week. So, once I came back, I decided that I had to change the diet to fit in with me a little more. The goal was to alternate your diet somehow so, I became a vegetarian that eats fish. I also added All-brand and muesli in my diet to keep my fiber levels high. So, I am going to work with this, I will let you know how this is going shortly.

That’s all for now, Stay Royal :-)

Diary of a Fat Girl Part II-Update

So this was going well for almost three weeks (missed it by two days) and then came SPRING BREAK. I think this was definitely my downfall in this whole process besides the fact that the raw diet wasn’t helping my digestive system. But I have become very creative and I have been eating a lot of fruits and veggies and avoiding temptation because lord knows that I have wanted everything in the world that I can’t have and NOT portioned…lol. I have learned to love salads-with cheese, its more filling as well as delicious! I have also learned to like guacamole with apples, who would’ve ever thought? You become very creative when you are in survival mode and have strictly trained yourself to be under and oblige by a strict diet or in an attempt for a lifestyle change. So when you’re on a special diet like the raw diet, it is best if you bring your own food. The problem with this was that I was unsure of the policies of the airport and I definitely didn’t want to bring a lot of food and then have to throw it away because I am definitely not trying to need money or ask my mom for money until towards the end of my trip. Anyways so, I know its hard to get food on the plane in the U.S. and I am a foreigner so, I will forget all of that. My program provides you with food during the whole trip and I was assuming fruit and muffins with juice or something since nothing is open at 6am in the morning. So, we get to the airport around 6:30am and then we went to Spurs (A very famous restaurant here in SA), this was my first time and I was excited to see what spurs had to offer. Everything was ordered before we got there so, I had some orange juice and then came the food: Eggs-sunny side up or scrambled with Ham, Toast. Oh man and what time is lunch? We don’t get lunch until 12pm, uuh I have to eat it. I didn’t want to overdo it so, I didn’t eat the toast or the ham and when I say the eggs were delicious! I mean it was god sent, these eggs were amazing and I am not sure if it was because I didn’t have anything hot in so long or just the hunger, but this was a slow end to the raw diet. I could feel it! So, that part wasn’t so bad, but then we got on the bus that will take us to Nelspruit, after the flight, and of course we were hungry again! We were provided with a lunch box that had a chicken sandwich, apple, cereal bar, muffin and a juice. I gave my muffin away and ate the cereal bar and the apple à 2 hours later, I was hungry again so, I ate the chicken sandwich. This sandwich was sliced chicken on a roll with no cheese and butter-what type of sandwich is this right? lol Beggars can’t be choosy. So, the raw diet was officially downhill from here. After the 5hr bus ride, we arrived at Old Vic and had to wait three hours until dinner. So the first night was beef stew with Gem Squash, mixed veggies, rice and salad and Bread. I definitely thought about eating only the salad but the vegetarians had to eat first and a small bowl of salad wasn’t going to hold me over. I had a little bit everything except for the bread and when I say this was the start to some of the BEST food eating since I have been in South Africa. The next four days, there was an unlimited amount of food with Crazy Dave because they fed us every 7hrs. Although my conscious was eating me up, I must say this food was extravagant, my energy increased, my digestive system was better, I felt that I weighted less, and It was all around the effects of the raw diet, but nothing was raw….lol. I must say that it was very easy to fall into temptation and when temptation is combined with provided meals---its no joke.

Stay Royal :-)