The Diary of a Fat Girl

Wow, just thinking about the title, I can hear my brother and my cousin saying "fatsnack"--my new name since I came home from college. Weight has become a very big issue in my life since I have been in college. I have always had a fat girl living in the inside of me because I would definitely eat everything in site and no weight would be gained. my eating habits definitely caught up with me when I went to the summer program at my college. I must say the "Freshman 15" has nothing on me. The jokes and the family humor is always funny, when you come home, but losing weight has never been an issue for me and it didn't really bother me until recently. I can remember distinctly my friend Tasha X saying "if it is not affecting your health, then don't worry about it" and me telling myself "If god wants me to be fat then I will be."

American society makes their money off of the advertising of the weight loss products and methods for better health. If you are a big person, but can do everything physically that a skinny person can do than what is the problem? Now, back to me because I do tend to go off on tangents. I have been skinny ll of my life so skinny is where I want to be, but I find that losing weight is wayyyy harder than gaining and because I never had to lose weight, I don't know where to start. To many people I am not fat, but the issue with me is my perspective of myself. what many people don't understand is that I want to do this for me, not because of what other people think!!! I want the fat girl that has been slowly creeping out to go back in so, I don't have to worry about what I am eating and if it is bad for me.

Plan: because what I have noticed here in South Africa is that most of the foods here are made with one or more crabs. The Gatsby
which is a traditional sandwich here which is very good has both potatoes and bread so, session one is NO starch CARBS. Since I am now considered a fat girl on the outside, I now have to think about EVERYTHING I eat and do. This is crazy, when you picture your life-as a skinny girl- you never think of becoming fat!

Anyways so, I have looked back at my life and realized that although I am involved a lot, I am not involved in the things I was involved in when I was younger. I was in every dance class that Hope For Children offered and I was always outside running around with the boys. Tom-boy stages were the days, but who knew transitioning into the girly stages would mean different eating habits? lol

So, I have to take action and get involved in things that will keep me active. I have also signed up for African Dance which is for 1.5 hours on Tuesday and Thursdays and I just joined the Dance Sport team which is on Mondays for 3hrs and to wage the stakes, money is involved. With No starch Carbs and doing Hip-Hop Abs or insanity the other days, I should see some results. The biggest issue on this journey to weight loss for me is the result, everyone wants FAST result, not realizing that the fast results are the result that also let you gain weight back faster and twice as much. Losing weight needs to be a life style so, can I give up starch Carbs completely? Its not looking tooo good for that, but to minimize them would be great! But we will talk about that bridge when we get there...lol

On the other hand, to help me through this weight-loss journey, Me and my boyfriend have a week long trip up for grabs: if I lose 40lbs by the time I come home, I get to go on a trip fully paid for by him--What he doesn't realize is that I could only lose up to 32lbs if I go on the diet which he prescribed on his blog: only1duck.com-- so in essence I already lost, but I will take the challenge of adding those 8 extra pounds. So, physically, I already lost, but weight-loss is a mind thing which most people don't understand. It is mind over matter and temptation and sometimes that is the downfall. Please make sure that there are people who will support your decision and help you get through the temptations and if not, independence is needed to be pulled to the foreground.

I am killing my food experience here because EVERYTHING is made from starch Carbs, but when it comes to competition, I am all for it. I have my before pictures and I am slowly seeing progress and trying to stay away from the scales. I have become very conscious of I am eating so, the BET is ON!!!!

That's all for now from the diary of a Fat girl
Stay Royal!